Melbourne, May 15th 2012
La Barbe Australia this evening addressed an estimated 200 attendees at the Melbourne Mining Club’s bi‐monthly Cutting Edge Series event at the Melbourne Town Hall to congratulate the Mining Industry on it’s impressive efforts to uphold the Patriarchy by excluding women from the upper-echelons of power and fast-tracking Climate Change.
Convener of the event, Melbourne Mining Club committee member Richard Morrow, of E.L. & C. Baillieu, shook several La Barbe delegates hands as he accepted the prestigious Golden Beard, a framed, voluminous gold‐coloured, beard, awarded for outstanding contribution to the Patriarchy.
Contact : beards@labarbeaustralia.org
www.labarbeaustralia.org
movie : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ps3VvTdTm5E&feature=youtu.be
sound : http://soundcloud.com/labarbeaustralia/la-barbe-aus-congratulate
fbk : LaBarbeAustralia
What follows is the full transcript of the address.
La Barbe Australia congratulates the Bearded Mining Industry for outstanding services to the Patriarchy.
We, La Barbe Australia, would like to take this opportunity to offer our heartiest congratulations to The Melbourne Mining Club, and the Beard dominated Mining Industry as a whole, for their stellar efforts in strengthening the Patriarchy both at home and abroad. By largely excluding women from the top echelons of power and by fast-tracking Climate Change, which affects Beards far less adversely than women, the Mining Industry is ensuring the Patriarchy has a strong future. Well
done, Beards !
We present to The Melbourne Mining Club, and the Mining Industry, the prestigious Golden Beard in honour of outstanding services to the Patriarchy.
We applaud the Mining Industry for its active resistance to measures designed to combat Climate Change and its persistent lobbying against the Carbon Tax. Women make up 70% of the world’s poor, have less so-called ‘rights’, resources and power than men and so are less able to adapt to changes in the environment and natural disasters. Climate Change really is keeping them in their place, well done Beards !
Furthermore, now that you have Gina Rinehart writing poetry and posing for the media, nobody will suspect that :
• 83.8% of Mining Industry employees are Beards !
• 86.9% of your managers are Beards !
• 96.3% of your CEOs are Beards !
Here at the Melbourne Mining Club, eight of your nine committee members are Beards and, in the past four years of these Cutting Edge Series Events, 61 of the 63 speakers have been Beards.
You are doing a superb job of making sure your $60 billion dollars of profit a year will stay safely in the pockets of Beards, where it belongs.
The United Nations has found that income is more likely to be spent on human development when women control the cash. The Mining Industry has avoided that horror by making sure they don’t have too much. Yes Beards, you’ll be relieved to hear the gender pay gap in the Mining Industry is a very healthy 22.5%.
The Melbourne Mining Club is to be particularly congratulated for lobbying against the Carbon Tax because you won’t even be affected by it ! Yes, that’s right, not one of the companies associated with the Melbourne Mining Club is listed on the Government’s recently released list of 250 companies that will face the Carbon Tax on July 1. Not any of the companies of your board members, nor your sponsors. Not one of the companies of the three speakers here today. Nor ANY of the 63 mining companies who have presented at Cutting Edge Series Events in the past four years.
No one in the Melbourne Mining Club is affected by the Carbon Tax and yet your associated organisation, The Minerals Council of Australia, continues its drive against it, just weeks ago releasing full page national newspaper ads stating that the mining industry is over-taxed. That is self-less of you, Mining Beards, self-less !
And speeding up Climate Change is important, Beards, because when the climate disintegrates, the Patriarchy strengthens. With our greater resources and Beard-given rights, we are much better able to cope with Climate Change. Of course it’ll kill us all in the end but it’s better to die with a full beard and a full belly than to stand equal with anyone of the fairer sex.
Onward Beards, to profit, pillage and Patriarchy !
La Barbe Australia !